The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are Discover More strong and uncontrolled , websites leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, click requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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