The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus click over here to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in cities, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Lots of gay males wish to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If read review not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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