The Sex Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, love, and wellness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay guys desire to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is his explanation essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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