The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste address your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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